A gay man's journey toward acceptance in a small southern Interior town

Kalen Jones is a 39-year-old gay man living in Clearwater who has been pushing for more inclusivity in the small town since coming out four years ago. He said when he was growing up in Clearwater in the 1990s, it wasn’t socially acceptable to be gay, the word itself was derogatory. At home, being gay didn’t fit in with his family’s religion. “Growing up here it wasn’t OK to be gay, it was wrong and dirty,” he said. “At home we were taught to love everyone, be kind and forgive but we weren’t allowed to be gay, you’d be going to hell, and if you weren’t religious, you’d go to hell and burn for eternity.” Jones said coming out to his family and community was terrifying, like jumping off a cliff. Since then, Jones has advocated for more inclusivity in his hometown, and he is making progress. “I don’t want anyone else to have to go through what I did,” he said. “Being gay was a bad thing, you think you’re wrong and you can’t be who you are. You always think there is someone wrong with you and no one will accept you if they find out.” Jones arrived in Clearwater at the age of one. He went through school hiding his gender identity and became a father at the age of 19. He is currently co-parenting his three kids alongside their mother. The pair spent years working and scrimping to get by, with Jones taking jobs at a local restaurant and later a mill. “It’s always a struggle to pay for bills and a family especially when you’re young and don’t have a university degree,” he said. “It’s hard to get a good paying job with benefits in a small town. It was a struggle.” READ MORE: iN VIDEO: Lillooet man breaks intergenerational trauma cycle, gives back to community https://infotel.ca/newsitem/in-video-lillooet-man-breaks-intergenerational-trauma-cycle-gives-back-to-community/it104912 The pair went to Kamloops for a brief period while Jones took courses to become an electrician, but after getting a job with an electrical company as a first-year apprentice he realized he’d have to work in a camp up north to earn enough to support his family. He chose not to miss out on his young children’s lives and the pair moved back to Clearwater and two years later opened K & A Gateway Grill https://www.facebook.com/gatewaygrillKA . Despite the long work days and financial struggles Jones struggled through, he said coming out was more difficult. He didn’t know how his family, relationships, friends and community would react when he revealed his true gender identity in 2020. “Coming out was the hardest thing, I’d been trying my whole life to be someone I wasn’t, someone everyone else wanted me to be," he said. "I felt so much pressure. I didn’t want to cause my loved ones trauma or risk damaging everything I'd worked so hard for. Growing up here and owning a restaurant everyone knew me, I’d built so many relationships in town. They either had to accept me or not."  Since coming out Jones said he has received far more support than negative comments, and is now comfortable using his voice to help improve inclusivity in his town for others. He has visual signs of diversity at his restaurant with a flag out front and community wall to support diverse and inclusive artwork. “I want people to be comfortable, when they are driving through a little hick town they see a rainbow and know they are welcome here.” READ MORE: 'Absolute insult': Lumby mayor suing ICBC after hitting deer with classic campervan https://infotel.ca/newsitem/absolute-insult-lumby-mayor-suing-icbc-after-hitting-deer-with-classic-campervan/it104988 In 2022, Jones formed the Valley Pride Society, pulling supporters of inclusivity together. The society aims to reflect diversity for everyone, beyond the 2LGBTQ group to combat racism, discrimination and bullying. “We share our experiences. Coming out in a rural community in Canada is not a nice experience. In smaller towns it’s hard to blend in.” He recently told some of his story about growing up feeling unwelcome and unaccepted to Clearwater district council and was received with openness and kindness, forming a good relationship between community leaders and the pride society. “We’re starting conversations and it’s changing the way people are talking about diversity and inclusivity. The community is small, some haven’t come out yet. We host event to make people comfortable, handing out stickers and flags.” READ MORE: Armstrong parents say school district staff cuts will impact most vulnerable students https://infotel.ca/newsitem/armstrong-parents-say-school-district-staff-cuts-will-impact-most-vulnerable-students/it105000 Jones is the person behind a newly painted rainbow on a dock at Dutch Lake in Clearwater that has become a centre of controversy and prompted homophobic sentiment from some community members.  “I’ve love how this dock has opened up conversations about inclusivity, clearly it’s a conversation that needed to happen here,” he said.  “And it isn’t just about gender diversity, it’s a reminder to all of us to be kind." Jones intends to advocate for more visible inclusivity paintings and murals in the city in the future, including artwork and murals by the Simcw First Nation.  “I’m proud of who I am and where I live,  and what I’ve done to bring awareness and inclusivity to my community.” To contact a reporter for this story, email Shannon Ainslie mailto:sainslie@infonews.ca  or call 250-819-6089 or email the editor mailto:news@infonews.ca . You can also submit photos, videos or news tips to the newsroom mailto:tips@infonews.ca  and be entered to win a monthly prize draw. We welcome your comments and opinions on our stories but play nice. We won't censor or delete comments unless they contain off-topic statements or links, unnecessary vulgarity, false facts, spam or obviously fake profiles. If you have any concerns about what you see in comments, email the editor in the link above. SUBSCRIBE to our awesome newsletter here https://infotel.ca/newsletter .