THOMPSON: Why it's alright for children to be bored

  OPINION I like to think I’m a keen observer…of people, places…my environment. For some time, I’ve noticed how some parents go about the job of…well, parenting. It is different from when my parents were doing their best to see that I became useful, productive member of society as opposed to say…a felon. They did pretty well, I guess, as I have long avoided incarceration. Good thing, perhaps, that they don’t prosecute and imprison you for thinking about homicide. Otherwise, I might still be doing a lengthy stretch at Leavenworth, Folsom or Sing-Sing. Parents today - when both aren’t working long hours to make ends meet - seem to mostly focus their attention on entertaining their children…or making sure their kids are engaged in any number of recreational sports and activities. Kids often become modern-day quick-change artists. How often have you seen children change from hockey to soccer uniforms in the car to avoid being late for a game? I played sports as a child and teen - primarily baseball and football - but never two or three sports in the same over-lapping season. The possibility never came up…but I’m sure that Mr. and Mrs. Thompson of Ocala, FL, would have simply said “No, son, choose one,” and that would have been the end of it. Both my parents worked…long hours…in tiring jobs. When they had time off…they still ran errands, shopped and did the scores of other unpaid jobs parents do. My brother and I were often along for the ride so to speak…or were at some age left at home with instructions to not burn the place down. My older sister was gone - married by the time I was six years old - but I assume she lived through the same observation of my parents’ many tasks…otherwise known by children - then and now - as boredom. Strange thing, but boredom teaches you a thing or two about life, which logically seems to be one of the many callings imposed on parents. It’s a parent’s job to make good children into better adults. I learned to handle boredom as a child, finding that I was a resourceful - even creative - kid who was learning to be a relatively well-balanced adult. This all started from simply watching my parents do what they did…and in some moments being completely engaged…and others being bored stiff. Children are taught in school, but they also learn outside classrooms from watching others - the world around them - and with a little luck become older children, then teenagers and then adults that you don’t mind being around. I learned how to change a tire by being bored and watching my father wield a tire iron. I found that you could actually learn stuff from boring adults…especially mom and dad. They were smarter than I thought when I was six or eight. I discovered empathy and imagination…learned how to entertain myself all from simple observation of my mom and dad. As a youngster, I not only survived visiting a relative I barely knew - listening to endless stories about people I never met - I actually thrived. I’m unsure whether much of my youth was spent in quality-time or quantity-time. We didn’t talk in such terms back in the 1950s and early 1960s. But looking back, I didn’t suffer much. I watch parents today on what seems to be the most un-fun Merry-go-Round of life as they apparently shoot for quality time…but more often hit quantity-time. They are busy…always busy. Sometimes, idle hands aren’t the devil’s workshop. I umpire baseball - both here in British Columbia and in Florida - mostly kids from 13 to 18 years old…looking and listening to the lives spinning around me during 100 games a year. Most parents never miss a game…and often shuttle the kids around like personal Uber drivers from one activity to the next. I don’t know…maybe they consider that quality-time. But, honestly, talking with them - and simply observing them - it doesn’t seem like very high quality. Again, my parents knew how and when to say “No” and I learned from that…not always being the center of attention my every waking moment. Thinking about others…being more thoughtful…and perhaps a little wiser were my rewards. Maybe it’s better not to have life too frontend-loaded…everything given to you when you’re six or eight or ten or 12. Some things you need to discover on your own…just being bored and watching others live…and how they cope when things don’t always go their way. Now that’s a gift all parents can afford. Meanwhile, thanks again, mom and dad. — Don Thompson, an American awaiting Canadian citizenship, lives in Vernon and in Florida. In a career that spans more than 40 years, Don has been a working journalist, a speechwriter and the CEO of an advertising and public relations firm. A passionate and compassionate man, he loves the written word as much as fine dinners with great wines. We welcome your comments and opinions on our stories but play nice. We won't censor or delete comments unless they contain off-topic statements or links, unnecessary vulgarity, false facts, spam or obviously fake profiles. If you have any concerns about what you see in comments, email the editor. mailto:news@infonews.ca